How to be jealous and still happy?
What enters the mind is not important, but what we entertain in it is.
Ather is the Apple of electric scooters in India. When I was in the market for an electric scooter a few months ago, I did everything I could to get my hands on one of Ather’s models. But I had no budget. I bought Bajaj’s Chetak, a compromise.
I am indeed happy with my decision. However, every time I spot an Ather on the road — which happens quite often these days — it looks like a missed opportunity on two wheels. I can’t help but think, “Maybe I should have waited a little longer, tried a bit harder, and finally brought home an Ather”.
It was in this context that I felt a twinge of jealousy when I heard that a relative was about to buy an Ather. I heard my inner voice: “Even now, if I really put my mind to it, I can still buy an Ather”. I know that jealousy is never a healthy foundation for growth — it clouds our judgment and distorts our reasoning. But I also know that I should not pick a fight with my mind. I have a choice: to listen to it or to ignore it — but not to control it.
The mind is beyond purity and impurity. It possesses no inherent quality of its own. To accept the mind exactly as it is the most enlightened state we can attain. Our role is simply to focus on our actions. What enters the mind is beyond our control, but what we choose to entertain truly matters. I might get a jealous thought about buying an Ather, but that doesn’t mean I have to entertain it—making plans, gathering resources, and going ahead with the purchase when it’s not at all necessary.
What can help here is understanding the difference between thoughts and thinking. They are not the same. Thoughts are the mind’s automatic products — they arise without effort. Thinking, on the other hand, is voluntary; it comes from our intellect and conscious choice. The quality of who we are is shaped solely by our conscious thinking—and the actions that follow—not by the thoughts that come but are ignored.
People often aspire to have a mind free from jealousy, trying all kinds of spiritual practices to achieve it. But paradoxically, the more we struggle to eliminate a quality from our mind, the stronger it tends to grow. Worrying or regretting our thoughts—or the unconscious, uncontrolled thinking—is just another way of clinging to the very thoughts we want to avoid.
That’s why I’m not ashamed of having felt jealous about my relative’s decision to buy an Ather. No guilt. No regret. And I’m not going to buy an Ather either—no need, no budget.
Cheers!
Sankar G
Rajapalayam
Thank you for taking the time to read this newsletter. I value your feedback, so please feel free to reply directly to this email or reach out at sankar@sankarg.com. You can also contact me via phone or WhatsApp at +91-9790276206.
I’m a freelance writer, helping individuals and organisations create content such as articles, blog posts, press releases, speech drafts, and corporate/marketing communication materials. My work includes authoring books (here is my books page) and developing ideation frameworks, related to management, education, and spirituality. I conduct young author and student journalist workshops to expose the young minds to the tools of creating stories and news reports.